My recent breakup with a friend is NOT one of these moments. A friend of mine in Tempe was furious about my unwillingness to join him for a pre-arranged Chinese new year dinner. So he stopped contacting me and I don't feel obliged to contact him anyway. And there we were, not on the speaking or blinking terms.
Two weeks ago, I seized the opportunity of returning his stuff to write him a letter–not an apologetic letter, more like a greeting card, summarizing our past friendship and wishing him all the best. I was not looking for a reply. Nor was I trying to mend things with him. We did not have anything in common. He was always trying to feed me with his religious sermon or ultra-conservative political views. My view was not respected. It'd be good if I could be a bigger person and accommodate the antagonism. But I am a human being after all. I don't find anything in his friendship worth keeping or saving. Why bother? I may have been rude to him before only because I don't find anything interesting or attractive in what he can offer. Confucius is right in saying "do not attempt to work with people whose way is not your way."
The funny thing is that he ended the reply by hinting that he refused to accompany me in case I wrote the letter because I am lonely. Was I expecting anything in return? I simply feel that it's awkward that we did not even greet each other now. I never thought or wanted things to return to where they were. But it doesn't mean we have to turn into strangers. I thought I was ahead of myself, seems like he is the one who's ahead of himself!
Never stay in a relationship in which you cannot find any commonality. Complementarity and compromise are not the same things. You can compromise your self-absorbedness but not your belief and strength. Pick a stand–even if it means standing alone. I'd rather stand by myself than being shoveled in a crowd of ignorant loudmouth.
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